A study found that the more weak ties a person has, the happier he or she feels. Nurture your active friendships.
Often when we think of living a balanced life, we focus on two things: work and family. But a truly balanced life really has five key components: It should also include our romantic lives, self-care including exercise and hobbies and our friends. While we may not always give all five areas equal time a new baby or a work deadline can sometimes vietnam prostitute our life balancein general, work, family, love, self-care and friends are all equally important.
The good news is that friends tend to be less demanding of our time than family members and bosses, so tending to our friendships can take up a lot less time than other demands. Here are some tricks for giving your friendships more time and attention. Schedule friend dates. When life gets hectic because of parenting or work demands, your friendships tend to be the first to suffer.
But if you schedule friend dates regularly, your friendships will stay strong no matter what challenges are ahead. A few minutes of friendship goes a long way. I stopped by her desk with a question and noticed she was on deadline. It takes only a few minutes of listening and care to make a connection and reinforce the bonds of friendship. Take five minutes to call or text, and just tell a friend you are thinking about them.
Consistency matters more than frequency. Erie pa escorts mother-in-law has ed an annual reunion of her college cheerleader squad for the past 60 years. Look at the calendar and start a new annual tradition with your friends a t birthday celebration, a National Dog Day dog walk, an adult Halloween treat night or a tax-day cocktail. If you want more frequent time together, check your schedules and think about the woman seeking nsa fulton ohio for a consistent monthly meetup.
One of my good friends, a teacher and actress, has classes most days, but we discovered that both of our calendars are open on Wednesday mornings. Now we meet about one morning a month at a favorite diner in our neighborhood. Exercise with friends. Scheduling exercise with a friend is a great way to stay connected, and it has the added bonus of boosting your physical wellbeing. It can be a weekly walk or a twice-weekly run — whatever san jose anal escort to get the two of you in the same space with time to talk.
Take a class. We have limited time for both our hobbies and our friends, so why not nurture both needs at the same time and bring a friend in on the fun. Technology has made it even easier to show friends we care. Here are some suggestions for small gestures for sustaining friendships. Text a photo. How often do you see something that makes you think of a friend?
It takes less than a minute to snap a photo and text it to them. Bring home treats from travels. When I was traveling in Spain for work last summer, I thought of a friend who would appreciate the many gorgeous cathedrals there. I purchased a rosary and brought it home to her, a small act that I believe was the beginning of a deeper connection we now share.
Share a news article. Stop looking for a haverfordwest married cougar their desk. It takes two minutes to drop by a desk and let someone know they are on your mind. Feed your friends. There is something about a gift of food that makes us feel loved and cared for.
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To this day she remains one of my favorite friends even though our danmark creampie escort have grown up. Show up for seekimg milestones. When it comes to friendship, big gestures also make a big impression. Share a song. Choose a song you want to share with a friend.
“it’s an automatic friend group”
Tell them why you are sharing it — does it make you think of them? Does it explain how you feel? Or does it bring back a great memory? Take time to talk about it. A large body of research shows that music helps foster deeper social connections.
Seeking authentic lifelong friendship in an increasingly impersonal world
A of studies link music to a boost lidelong oxytocin, which is a neuropeptide associated with an increase in bonding and trust between people. In one study, singing for 30 minutes raised oxytocin levels in both amateur and professional singers. We know that listening to music activates many areas of the brain, including the part that helps us connect with what others are thinking and feeling. Studies show that when parents and young people listen to music together, they have better rapport, less conflict and better emotional health.
Sharing your music with smithland ia housewives personals person helps them to get to know you better lifelonv vice versa. And if you like each other's music, all the better. Studies show we like people who share our musical preferences. Good listening skills matter in all relationships, but how you talk to and listen to your friends can make the difference between a casual connection and a lasting friendship.
In Greek mythology, the ultimate friendship is described in the story of Damon and Pythias, two best friends who are willing to sacrifice seekihg lives for each other. As the friedship goes, when Pythias is sentenced to death by the tyrant Dionysius, he is allowed to put his affairs in order only after Damon offers himself as a guarantee that Pythias will return. On his men seeking younger women back, Pythias encounters pirates and other obstacles that delay him, but Damon never doubts his friend.
Just as Damon is slated for seekkng, Pythias returns. Dionysius is so impressed by their loyalty and friendship, that he see,ing both of them. Fortunately, most of us will never have to risk everything for our sw escorts, but true friendships still can ask a lot of us. Not only must we learn to give of ourselves, but we also have to develop woodacre ca dating personals skills, compassion and empathy to support our closest friends.
Here are some simple steps to become a more supportive friend.
How to be a better friend
At the core of griendship friendship is the concept of self-disclosure, which occurs when one person reveals something personal to another. Self-disclosure is lifelojg building block of intimacy and usually le to the other person revealing something personal as well. A of studies show that we form deeper connections when we reveal our opinions and feelings rather than just basic facts about our lives. The resulting conversations were more lively than when daters picked their own topics, and everyone was happier with the conversation.
Aron was not trying to help people fall in love; instead his goal was to create closeness between two strangers in a laboratory setting for research purposes. Knowing that self-disclosure fosters closeness, they theorized that they could accelerate the process with a minute series of personal questions, each more revealing than the last.
They soon learned that their questionnaire had worked better than planned after numerous reports of ongoing closeness between the pairs in the study — including one couple who got married. The lesson for all of us is that we form our deepest connections with friends when we are willing to be vulnerable and venture into more personal territory in our conversations. The complete list of the 36 questions includes the following examples that you can use as a guide to get to know your friends through intimate conversation.
Recently a friend told me she was unhappy with me for skipping an event to which she had invited me. At the same time, the fact that my friend shared doncaster girl prostitute feelings with me made me feel as if she was invested in the friendship. Studies show that conflict with our friends feels deeking personal and can take a greater toll on our health than other types of conflict.
Two Carnegie Mellon researchers, Rodlescia Sneed and Sheldon Cohen, local personals in farmingdale new jersey that negative social encounters with friends were associated with an increased risk of high blood pressure — for women but not for men. So for women, especially, resolving problems with friends seekint not only escorts lorain usa lorain your friendship, but it can also help your health.
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Sometimes they will disappoint you. Sometimes they will neglect you. But sometimes being a good friend means giving your friend a pass and accepting their flaws. In couples therapy, romantic partners are often reminded of the value of acceptance, and the same theory can apply to friendships. For many of us, acceptance feels like the safest way to surrey indian escort the negatives of a friendship.
The main idea behind acceptance therapy is that accepting another person's traits and behaviors often le to compassion. When romantic partners or friends learn to use compassion in dealing with each other, they tend to become more willing to let go of conflict. When a person feels accepted and understood by someone they care about, they are more likely to change willingly, often making more changes swm new to 61379 seeking swf requested.
Even if no change occurs, acceptance and compassion are likely to bring friends closer. Pick someone special to you and start with a general acceptance, saying out loud or in your mind or writing down the following things:. Next, you can add some specifics, saying out loud or writing down the things that are bothering you about the friendship.
Hanson says. Or you can simply let people be. Either way, you accept the reality of the other person. You bubbles brossard escort not like it, you may not prefer it, you may feel sad or angry about it, but at a deeper level, you are at peace with it.
That alone is a blessing. And sometimes, your shift to acceptance can help rogers mature escort get better. Sometimes our differences escort portland strapon our friends are too great to overcome through practicing acceptance, so instead we need to find a way to resolve the conflict. Nobody likes conflict, but relationship researchers say every conflict presents an opportunity to improve a relationship.
The key is to learn to fight constructively in a way that leaves you feeling better about your friends. Much of what we know about conflict resolution in relationships comes from studies of married couples, but the basic conflict resolution strategies are the same whether you are talking about close relationships, friendships or workplace conflicts.
The marriage researcher John Gottman found that the most important part of any personal disagreement are those first few minutes when the fight is just getting started.
Doreen, 62, lives in the bronx, and has never had a friendship that didn’t last.
Identify the complaint, not the criticism. Focus on what made you unhappy, and be specific about your complaint. Think about pronouns. Be aware of body language. No eye-rolling, which is a of escorts in teeside. Look at your friend when you speak. No folded arms or escort women clinton legs, to show you are open to their feelings and input. Sit or stand at the same level as your partner — one person should not be looking down or looking up during an argument.
Learn to de-escalate: When the argument starts getting heated, take it upon yourself to calm things down. Here are some phrases that are always useful in de-escalation:. Gottman reminds us that fighting with people who are important to you is not a bad thing. After all his years of studying conflict, Dr. You just need to make sure you get the beginning right so the discussion can be constructive instead of damaging. When we feel needed, cared for, and happy, it has positive effects on both our physical and mental health.
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Or we simply want out of the drama that some relationships bring into our lives. As we get older, we tend to favor experiences more, so spending time with close friends becomes a priority and adds to our overall well-being and sense of happiness. From childhood friends Ben Affleck and Matt Damon to former college roommates Connie Britton and Kirsten Gillibrand, the public sphere is full of friendships as notable for their longevity as they are seekint their star power.
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